Saturday, September 12, 2015

Project Runway, Season 14 Episode 6: Heidi Whities

Greetings, Project Runway Fans!

Heidi is a mistress of marketing. You may have seen her commercial...a rather brilliant pitch within a pitch.

"I'm thinking of 'Heidi's Whities!'"
At the same time she was promoting a fictitious mens' underwear website for, she was launching her own lingerie line. Heidi Klum is a promotional ninja.

The Challenge

This week, our designers became Heidi's minions as she paraded them out in front of her lingerie line.

The challenge this week was to make a bra and pantie set for Heidi's Intimates line.

They were given bra forms to use...mostly for the dignity of their models, I think. Although that didn't turn out as well as the producers would have hoped. The instructions were to use the bra as an example of what to make. Copy the bra form but don't put stuff on top of it and use it as a base.

Let's just say right now that these models are good sports. These designers didn't make anyone look that good.

Once again this week, no trip to Mood. Instead, the designers pawed through lace on the work table.

"Heidi, I must say that I admire your audacity."
"That's a compliment, right Tim?"
There was a twist.  Tim and Heidi, wearing pajamas, took the designers to the runway, which was all decked out in sleeping gear and covered in pajamas. They were sleeping in the studio over night.

Worst. Slumber. Party. Ever.
Heidi delivered the twist. "Make a sexy cover-up." It turned out to be just a twist as no contestant was really judged on the cover-up. 

The Judges

Could Zac Posen get any creeper? This week, the creep factor went off the charts.  From his "Let's get intimate!" declaration as Tim came out with the models, to his overt grabbiness.

Can't you keep your hands to yourself for once???
We were even treated to his tribute to Game of Thrones after Nina made a strange reference to show in a comment.
"I am Khaleesi!"
Oh, Zac....

I hate to be such a fuddy duddy, but I can't keep up with the starlets anymore. Who knew it would become so hard?  I mean, I know I'm old, but I have a tween and a teen and you'd think I'd be up on all the pop culture.

This week's guest judge was Annabella Avery "Bella" Thorne.  She's a Disney Channel actress, has a single out, and hung out at New York Fashion Week with her BFF, Julia Goldani.

Is any of this making sense to you?  Because I know who should have been a guest judge this week....

Don't get me wrong... Bella Thorne was an excellent judge. She knows her lingerie and even figured out how to fix Merline's look.

"Does anyone have a needle and thread so I can stitch this down?"
But Trump....he has experience in the field, an eye for quality and his own fashion collection. He's quick and decisive with the ratings. He recently declared that Heidi Klum was "sadly, no longer a '10.'" This episode was filmed way before his campaign went into full gear and his feud with Heidi erupted. What would this episode been like had he been a judge?

That's right. More exciting. Big, successful, highest ratings ever.

So here's my judge line-up this week....

Strong, successful, winning line-up. 
Candice Cuoco

Candice loves lingerie and clearly loves straps. She made an interesting garter overlay on top of the panties. Cover-up looked ok. It was a solid safe.

"Safe? This judging is cuckoo. I would have picked that for the win. It's a successful design and it would sell a lot. Well, I could sell a lot of it. Maybe Heidi, who sadly, is no longer a '10' couldn't sell it...."
Candice sews well. That's for sure. It's a good looking outfit but this is a DESIGN challenge. There is nothing new about this outfit. It is a classic, lingerie look.

Edmond Newton

Sadly, this was safe. I would have loved to have seen Nina go after that beige stripe of lace in the crotch.

"It looks like a bandage."
Ashley Nell Tipton

Bella wanted to see a little less fabric in the front of the panty. and I have to say that given the back....

Bella has a point about the front. 

Lindsey Creel

At this point, the tosselled, bedroom hair is starting to bore me.  On this model neither the hair nor makeup are doing her any favors. I'm noticing the styling more the outfit. The pants are ok. The bra is ok. It's all ok. Nothing that Heidi doesn't already have somewhere in her line up. Lovely color choice.

Kelly Dempsey

Sometimes, when Heidi says "show me your point of view" she doesn't really mean it. And in Kelly's case, she doesn't really mean it. She had no intention of putting such a sporty look into her collection. That's a shame. This ensemble looked really comfortable and versatile.  This was my favorite cover-up. She sort of looked like a prize fighter.

Laurie Underwood

Never mind that the cover up makes the model look like the Bride of Dracula...those panties would require a full Brazilian wax. And although you can't see it here, Laurie committed the original sin of putting a middle seam on the front of a pantie.

I see that Lifetime got smart and required the models to wear a liner to cover private parts.

Swapnil Shinde

Oh, he said it best when he said that all those straps turned this into a fashion statement instead of an addition to a line of lingerie in mass production.

"This is why China is killing India in business right now. Too many straps. If you had gone to a good business school, like I did, you'd know that too many straps is a bad design."
Nina and Zac went on and on about Khaleesi. I'm not a Game of Thrones watcher, but what little I know of Khaleesi and her two dragons, that isn't the vibe I got from this outfit at all.  Instead, the model looks like some sort of SBDM Superhero. 

Charles Joseph Poli

CJP has managed to send out a conventional look each week and still emerge solidly safe. Is he capable of pushing a design envelope?

"What does that even mean? Can't something be classic anymore? Does everything have to be 'weird' and 'strange'?"
Merline Labissiere this won. I'm still in a bit of shock over this. Even after fawning over Ashley's outfit and Bella's repair job, I thought this one was going to just miss the win.

I'm not really sure how comfortable all those straps are. I would be tugging at them constantly. 

I just note two things.  In production, the bra is hiked up a bit more, just as Bella suggested (does she get a piece of this action?) and a set of inner straps are added.  For all the hew and cry over Laurie's middle seam, note what's on this panty......

"It's a cuckoo design. Wouldn't you get tangled up in those straps? Heidi probably outsources the production to China."
Jake Wall

Heidi warned you not to just put stuff on top of the bra form.

And yes, you did multiple straps, but you put them in places where no one wants to see the hip area.

Also, again, for a design that depends so much on looking at straps....move your model's hair!


Blake Patterson

Alas, poor Blake....

You were doomed from the start.

This model doesn't have an ounce of body fat on her. She can probably hold a plank for 25 minutes. But the only thing we'll remember about her is how much she flopped around in this bra top.


Here's the thing...and Bella tried to make this point... underwires lift up the breast. And that's it. They don't support it or hold it in place. If you don't provide something to support them, they will flop around. Blake needed to do more than just stretch lace fabric across the cups. He needed to attach them higher to the strap.  The "cover up" was silly.

"Blake,you're FIRED!"
All the designers still standing should have been showing at New York Fashion Week this week. Unless Lifetime no longer cares...and since the runway is completely anonymous, maybe they don't! That means Blake was out and didn't get to go. Six designers showed this week. So what this tell me is that if you are not a finalist, Fashion Week is just extra work for you with no promotion whatsoever.

I'm glad I'm done here. I hate writing about lingerie. It may look pretty, but in reality, the lace is itchy and uncomfortable. This stuff is not meant for long distances or vigorous activity. How can you be comfortable in your own skin when what you are wearing makes you want to crawl out of it?

By the way, I'd be remiss if I didn't link to Heidi's brilliant response to Donald Trump.
Next week we finally get to go back to Mood! have another unconventional material challenge.

Until then, thanks for visiting and pop on by to our weekly group therapy session on Blogging Project Runway, live at 9 pm on Thursday.

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