Project Runway Season 11: Episode 3- Smells Like Team Spirit!

Greetings, Project Runway Fans!


This week, Heidi had a Surprise for everyone.

"Surprise.  It's my new fragrance.  Here is the packaging."

"Use the colors and graphics in your final design.  I need a look for the press conference and a look for the promotional photo shoot."

Then, she sprayed a dose bit of it on them and surprise!

They turned into sweatshop workers!

I have no idea if you'll get the same results from spraying Surprise, I only warn you that it is very potent.

Use protection!

Those of you who were hoping that we would be surprised by the outcome of this week's judging came away very disappointed.  So far, the same people keep winning in different combinations.

Charlotte York Goldenblatt Kristin Davis joined the judges panel this week and did her very best to try and stay awake.  The clothes were a bigger flop than Zac Posen's red tie.

So this week, once again, Team Keeping it Real kept keeping winning.

Daniel was the press conference look winner.

Geez, Louise, Daniel, chill out, dude.

Was Daniel's look the best press conference look out there?  Probably.  Nothing else really captivated Heidi to the point that Daniel's dress did.  It's a shame, because Patricia....yes Patricia...SURPRISE.... came really, really, really close.

She cut teeny tiny squares out of pink leather and sewed them together to make a kind of mesh that went over a nude underlayer.  But she didn't stop there and that's where I think she went wrong.  She added a skirt made of larger, gold squares to the bottom that didn't quite reach the bottom of the dress.  This left me to wonder if she just ran out of time, squares, or intended to show a full 6 inches of the underlayer.  In any case, it looked unfinished and a bit crafty.

What a shame! That back was so beautiful.  Had she just stuck to the pink squares, it would have been a funky, edgy dress with a beautiful drape.  Had she just used the larger, gold squares, it would have been shiny and glamorous.  Heidi loved the whimsy of the squares and the element of surprise that wearing it would have delivered.  Unfortunately, once again, Patricia just put in one too many elements.  I think doing two squares consumed time and resources better spent on making the squares cover more area and creating the three-dimensional effect she desired.

In contemplating this dress, Heidi uttered the most ridiculous sentence ever.  "This would be a surprising look for me.  No one would expect it.  You want a press conference to make news, don't you?"

The only way you could possibly "make news" at a press conference to launch a fragrance would be for you to drop dead.

Once again, Layana participated in the winning look.

But Layana graciously paid immunity forward to Kate.

The Kate/Layana pair-up was pretty interesting.  They constantly fought over whether to expose the pink or cover it up.  In the end, they covered up the top and exposed the bottom, giving it a bustier feel that Heidi really loved.

It looked great on the runway.

Here's the rest of Keeping it Real...

Stanley designed a cheap, shiny dress. He also took too many chains off the Lord and Taylor accessory wall, despite Tim's advice to be thoughtful.

 Richard ruined a perfectly good looking dress with a ruffle tail.  Where have I seen that fabric before?  Oh yes, it was the Project Runway All-Stars 1920's challenge!  Since both seasons were shot this past summer, expect a lot of Mood fabric reappearances.

The Dream Team continued to shrink.

 Michelle designed a sophisticated look that was certainly sexy in the back, even if it was a bit shapeless in the front.  

 Samantha has her hand on the pulse of current fashion.  Peek-a-boo is very popular.  The design certainly reflected the visual theme of the packaging.  Unfortunately, the black fabric weighed down the illusion to the point where it stretched out of shape.  Worse was the knot of seaming in the illusion on the right shoulder.  You could see it plainly on TV.  The back was a puckered, wrinkled mess.  She could have used more time to work with these materials.

Tu's mullet dress is another currently popular style, but there was nothing really innovative or surprising.  It was impeccably sewn, however, which is no surprise, with Tu.

Amanda and Joseph teamed up to make this dress, which is nice enough, but doesn't have much drama or surprise.  A dash of color here would have helped immensely.  I'm not seeing how it took two people to design this dress.

Oh, Gentle Ben!  How close you came to total disaster this week!  He delivered some crazy story about how the support on this dress somehow failed, causing the entire bodice (and the model) to droop.

The judges stared for several minutes trying to find evidence of some sort of boning, wiring or any kind of structured support.

They were looking for understructure when Ben was talking about the straps!  The straps were meant to structure the bodice to provide support.  Clearly, Ben is a designer and not an expert on anatomy.  Those straps cinched her in to the point where the other designers were concerned the model would pass out!  You can see the bunches of fabric in between--heck--he managed to cinch so tight that you could see the model's 10% body fat bunched up right in the middle.

I could understand this mishap if the dress were more interesting, but all the design is in the straps.  In fact, all the effort is in the straps.  The shoes and hair do nothing to kick the outfit up at all.  It makes you wonder why he was so pressed for time throughout this challenge.

But it was Cindy Mallett on the chopping block this week.  For two weeks, now, judges have warned her about being too matronly.  Perhaps she shouldn't have worn that shawl on the runway.  Her crime this week was using iridescent, silk shantung on a dress that Heidi was going to wear.  For shame, Cindy!  Don't you know Heidi would never wear anything so shiny?

Frankly, had it been me, Ben would have been given the Auf Wiedersehn, but if it's one thing Nina and Heidi hate more than iridescent, silk shantung, it's a designer who doesn't listen, week after week.   Somehow, Cindy never got the point of the competition.  If there is any fabric crime this week, it was choosing a fabric that was very hard to work with (every seam showed because it puckered) and choosing one that would make the design look junior.  Nina said, "cheap."  Well, silk shantung isn't cheap, Nina...not at all.  But it has it's place and that place is in a dramatic, audacious gown, not a day dress for a 40-year-old woman hosting a press conference about a perfume.

In any case, it's a shame to say Auf Wiedersehn to Cindy.  It's always nice to have an age mix in the competition.  Now, that burden is left to Daniel to carry.

In the meantime, I KNOW YOU'RE BORED, BUT HANG IN THERE!

Next week promises two things that you're sure to like: UNCONVENTIONAL MATERIALS and
BETTE MIDLER!!!!!!

See you then!

Project Runway Season 11, Episode 2: Spin Zone

Greetings, Project Runway Fans!

I am having a dream....

It's a wonderful dream...

and I can keep having this dream without interruption because.......wait...what?

"Listen, blogger, snap out of it.  Who's the star of this episode after all?"

This week was all about Spin, a ping pong club in New York City owned by Susan Sarandon.

She really does play ping pong.

The club is just like a pool hall or bowling alley, except with ping pong tables.

Happy hipsters playing table tennis.

You'll note that I prefer "ping pong" to "table tennis."  I associate Ping with a much happier time on Project Runway before we had these teams with all their drama.

"Happier time?  Are you freaking kidding me?"

The premise of this week's challenge was to produce a uniform that the employees at Spin could wear.  Here's were we enter....the Spin Zone.  You see, although the designers interviewed both male and female employees, there was no instruction that there be a male/female/unisex look.  As the judges mulled through each design, you could see them giving extra points to some of the ones that could be worn by either sex.  Despite that, in the end, they chose a female look for the win.

Susan joined the judge's panel this week and they called each other up to coordinate outfits.

It's too early in the competition to care about who won and lost and why so let's just say

Daniel let Ilayna win and

"Wait...I prefer not to be called a 'loser' but a 'non-winner.'"

You know, James, I agree.  I think this week, EVERYONE'S A WINNER in the Spin Zone.

Stanley wins the award for Most Ball Room in the Crotch.

And we learned this week, that Zac Posen likes his crotches high.

Kate and Patricia win the award for Most Types of Textiles used in One Garment.  It's also known as the Swatchy.

Joseph and Richard win "Best Place to Put your Ball Net".

Amanda wins "Outfit Most Likely to be Worn by a Customer".

 Daniel and Ilayna win the "Outfit that Made the Judges Lie About their Childhood" award.

This outfit featured a skort (skirt in the front/short in the back...the mullet of garments.)  The skort has been popular throughout the latter half of the 20th century.  I wore them when I was a tyke and Susan is older than I am, so I know she's familiar with them.  No one would cop to knowing what a skort was, so Daniel and Ilayna were declared to be geniuses and given the win.

Daniel almost lost it for the duo with his overthinking.  He observed the "trajectory of the ball's bounce and incorporated it into the design."  Hence, the asymmetrical squiggly collar and the asymmetrical back.  It's physics, people.  Ilayna saved the day with her handy pocket in the front.  Every waitress wants one!

It was at this point in the judging when Heidi said she didn't like scantily clad waiters and waitresses.  Don't expect to see Heidi at the next table in Hooters.

 Benjamin and Matthew win the "Thank You for Waking Up This Competition" award.

The judges seemed insulted by this entry.  Susan was offended by the placement of the "ball bag."  Really?  She came up with the logo, not the designers.

I think the kilt was a grand idea, but the execution was just a little off.  The wide pleats in the back should have also been used in the front for a more uniform look.  The top should have been a bit more formal, with sleeves, perhaps.  Had this been an impeccable kilt, they might have still cast doubt on its utility, but they would have had to admit it was well made.

Heidi also wasn't fond of the prospect of being waited on by a guy in a sleeveless shirt.  She's just not fond of seeing hairy armpits while she's eating.

Samantha and Tu win the "Maybe We Should Have Fit the Model Better" award. 

Whoa, that bodice is tight.  They completely forgot to factor in any breast area so the front gapped open, revealing the bra underneath.  That exposure was completely unintentional.  The circle in the back was just trying to hard to be literal with the design.   Unfortunately, it was just made the bad fit more obvious.  They did provide the waitress with a handy pocket.

Cindy and Benjamin win the "This Would Be a Nice Design for a Different Challenge" award.

Please judges, don't tell me that you could walk into any store and find a jacket like this right off the rack.  You don't shop in the stores that I frequent.  You can't find any jackets with the kind of seaming that nips in the waist so nicely.  The contrasting shades of brown were really distinctive to me.  All that talk about how dowdy the jacket looked was bullpucky as far as I was concerned.  Unfortunately, not only was the jacket completely wrong for this challenge, it was paired up with UPS shorts.  I expected to see her with an electronic clipboard and a dolly full of boxes.  I really stopped paying attention halfway through the judging, so it was unclear to me whether Cindy was almost booted off for designing the shorts, coming up with the idea of a jacket, or just being so matronly that her persona colored the judges' perception of her outfit.

 Michelle made the "Outfit that Most Matches What Heidi Has On."

Talk about dowdy!  Very little mention was made about how completely unflattering this looks.  Perhaps Nina said, "sad" at one point.  I can't remember.  The scribbles in the back are supposed to mimic the graphics in the logo of the club.  The wide collar provides some protection from Heidi's glaring eyes as another sleeveless waitress who probably didn't shave under her arms brings food to the table.

But the winner of the award for losing goes to....

 James for his winning entry in the "You Forgot This Was a Design Competition" challenge.

Not only was the sleeveless (Yuck!  Your hairy underarm is dripping sweat into Heidi's food!) shirt poorly sewn, its graphics speak nothing of bouncing balls and ping pong fun.   The shiny denim shorts are a crime and would look universally horrible on everyone.   Way to tuck the logo on to the rear pockets, so that everyone stares at his ass.

For those of you who still care, the Dream team lost another member and Keeping It Real won this week.

Well, that's it for this week's Project Ping Pong Runway.  

"That's it?  Really?  I could beat these designers in a design contest AND at table tennis."

See you next week for another challenge.