I am having a dream....
It's a wonderful dream...
and I can keep having this dream without interruption because.......wait...what?
|"Listen, blogger, snap out of it. Who's the star of this episode after all?"|
|She really does play ping pong.|
|Happy hipsters playing table tennis.|
|"Happier time? Are you freaking kidding me?"|
|Susan joined the judge's panel this week and they called each other up to coordinate outfits.|
|Daniel let Ilayna win and|
|"Wait...I prefer not to be called a 'loser' but a 'non-winner.'"|
|Stanley wins the award for Most Ball Room in the Crotch.|
|Kate and Patricia win the award for Most Types of Textiles used in One Garment. It's also known as the Swatchy.|
Joseph and Richard win "Best Place to Put your Ball Net".
|Amanda wins "Outfit Most Likely to be Worn by a Customer".|
Daniel and Ilayna win the "Outfit that Made the Judges Lie About their Childhood" award.
This outfit featured a skort (skirt in the front/short in the back...the mullet of garments.) The skort has been popular throughout the latter half of the 20th century. I wore them when I was a tyke and Susan is older than I am, so I know she's familiar with them. No one would cop to knowing what a skort was, so Daniel and Ilayna were declared to be geniuses and given the win.
Daniel almost lost it for the duo with his overthinking. He observed the "trajectory of the ball's bounce and incorporated it into the design." Hence, the asymmetrical squiggly collar and the asymmetrical back. It's physics, people. Ilayna saved the day with her handy pocket in the front. Every waitress wants one!
It was at this point in the judging when Heidi said she didn't like scantily clad waiters and waitresses. Don't expect to see Heidi at the next table in Hooters.
Benjamin and Matthew win the "Thank You for Waking Up This Competition" award.
The judges seemed insulted by this entry. Susan was offended by the placement of the "ball bag." Really? She came up with the logo, not the designers.
I think the kilt was a grand idea, but the execution was just a little off. The wide pleats in the back should have also been used in the front for a more uniform look. The top should have been a bit more formal, with sleeves, perhaps. Had this been an impeccable kilt, they might have still cast doubt on its utility, but they would have had to admit it was well made.
Heidi also wasn't fond of the prospect of being waited on by a guy in a sleeveless shirt. She's just not fond of seeing hairy armpits while she's eating.
Samantha and Tu win the "Maybe We Should Have Fit the Model Better" award.
Whoa, that bodice is tight. They completely forgot to factor in any breast area so the front gapped open, revealing the bra underneath. That exposure was completely unintentional. The circle in the back was just trying to hard to be literal with the design. Unfortunately, it was just made the bad fit more obvious. They did provide the waitress with a handy pocket.
|Cindy and Benjamin win the "This Would Be a Nice Design for a Different Challenge" award.|
Michelle made the "Outfit that Most Matches What Heidi Has On."
Talk about dowdy! Very little mention was made about how completely unflattering this looks. Perhaps Nina said, "sad" at one point. I can't remember. The scribbles in the back are supposed to mimic the graphics in the logo of the club. The wide collar provides some protection from Heidi's glaring eyes as another sleeveless waitress who probably didn't shave under her arms brings food to the table.
But the winner of the award for losing goes to....
James for his winning entry in the "You Forgot This Was a Design Competition" challenge.
Not only was the sleeveless (Yuck! Your hairy underarm is dripping sweat into Heidi's food!) shirt poorly sewn, its graphics speak nothing of bouncing balls and ping pong fun. The shiny denim shorts are a crime and would look universally horrible on everyone. Way to tuck the logo on to the rear pockets, so that everyone stares at his ass.
For those of you who still care, the Dream team lost another member and Keeping It Real won this week.
Well, that's it for this week's Project
|"That's it? Really? I could beat these designers in a design contest AND at table tennis."|